“I was forced to leave school because there were no funds to continue my education. I was hoping to study law; it is my dream – especially training as a criminal lawyer for the prosecution. I haven’t given up hope that I will be able to secure funds and follow my dream. My entire family is on the drugs since 2007 when we were all diagnosed. I take the drug daily - it makes me very hungry and we never have enough food to lessen the hunger knots in my tummy. In spite of the challenges of taking the drugs I stay with them because I know I will die without them. Isolation and stigma are my greatest problems. As soon as I reveal to a new friend my status, they abandon me. Now I no longer reveal my status because I know the friend will walk away. This makes me sad. At the AIDS clinic I have made friends because we share similar problems and can be open with one another. We meet once a month at the clinic. It would be great if we had an opportunity to meet more often.”DOROTHY, 17

Godfrey is an AIDS orphan. His has adopted him, This is typical for the hundreds of thousand children made orphans from the AIDS pandemic. “My parents perished from the AIDS virus when I was only 2 years old – I have no memory of them. Soon after their death, I developed a horrendous skin disorder, which was diagnosed as an opportunistic disease associated with the AIDS virus. I do not really understand what AIDS is, nor how I acquired the disease. Isolation and the lack of friends is a plague on me, I feel lonely and don’t know how to find friends to accept me.” GODFREY, 12

“I have been an orphan since I was 7 My mother was unaware that she was HIV positive, I never received the mother to child prevention drugs. My mother warned me just before she died that if I didn’t take the ARV drugs that God will take me as he took my father. Whenever I take the drugs I recite … ‘Help me God As I take these drugs, Please do care for me I don’t want to die from AIDS as my father and Mum have’ Although I have the virus I continue to be optimistic that a cure will be found soon and I will be cured and no longer suffer from the disease. There is no teaching of AIDS at my school. Because of stigma, I keep my status a secret … none of my friends know I am ill. And, even with my AIDS friends, we are afraid to be honest with one another. I am in the 2nd grade primary school; I should be in a higher grade but have missed school because of being ill. I plan to be a doctor because I want to help people who are sick and need medical care.” Innocent, 12

"I live with my grandmother since I was orphaned at the age of three. My mother gave birth in her village, she knew she was HIV positive but was in fear of stigma if she revealed her status so I am now a victim of her fear, because I inherited the virus. I have been taking the antiretroviral drugs for as long as I can remember – the staff at the clinic warned me that if I did not stay with the drugs I would die like my parents because AIDS is a killer. I know I should have a more nutritional diet to include fruits and vegetables but we lack the money. Poverty prevents access to many basic necessities. I never disclose my status to friends who aren’t HIV positive because if I told them they would laugh at me because I was sick and they are not, which is very cruel. My dream is to live in a place with God-fearing people and have a good home for my family. When I get married, my wife must be an educated woman. I plan to be an engineer repairing cars because it brings money and it earns respect." SAMUEl, 14

An AIDS orphan since he was three; Amza lives with his aunt, which is part of a soulless cement block of airless houses. “As long as I can remember, I was continuously falling ill, but my aunt would not seek medical care. Finally when I was 7, I walked to a clinic I knew about to see a doctor. After a simple examination, he took me to the Kilembe Mines Hospital AIDS clinic to have further tests. Before the tests were undertaken, the staff counseled me about what AIDS was about since I was never told about the disease. I was diagnosed being HIV positive and started the ARV drugs, which I have been on for the last 10 years. The clinic taught how the AIDS virus is transmitted and how you can prevent acquiring the disease. I learned that it is mostly contracted from sexual transmission and needles. I am sexually active with my girlfriend, who is also HIV positive. We do not have protected sex because we weren’t warned that, even if you are both HIV positive, you still need to use protection as without it, the disease can become more virile." AMZA, 18

“Both my parents are HIV positive. Although I have been on the ARV drugs since I was 7, I only recently found out that I had the AIDS virus. My mother birthed at home and therefore had no access to the mother to child prevention therapy. It was poverty that prevented her to going to the hospital – my parents didn’t have money for transport or hospital. The most frightening thing I know about AIDS is that if I don’t take the drugs, I die! I know if the virus gets into the blood, it begins the process of destroying the body. At the Kilembe Mines AIDS Clinic they counseled me not to fear the disease, as the drugs will assist us to live a good life. To help youth living with AIDS, I think there should be AIDS CLUBS – where we can enjoy each other and not worry about revealing our status. Stigma is not an issue as I never reveal my status to friends … I keep it as a secret so that prevents being isolated. Hopefully I can find a way to continue my studies as I want to become a nurse and help save lives.”CHRISTINE, 10

Angela wept as I conducted the interview … tears streamed down her face, tears of despair. Her dad died 6 months ago; her Mum is in stage 4 of the AIDS disease. Today they will be thrown out of their home because they had not paid the sum of $72.00 for the year’s rent. Poverty is the villain before illness. Through tears, she said: “Six years ago my mother took me to the AIDS clinic where I was diagnosed as HIV positive – since then I have been on the drugs. My mother birthed me at home, so I never received the mother to child prevention medication. It is virtually impossible to reveal your status, as there will be immediate abandonment. Most of my friends are those I meet at the Kilembe AIDS clinic. My biggest challenge is accessing the drugs. My mother is too weak to escort me to the clinic. I am in great fear that I too will become ill because I am no longer on the drugs. My dream is to become a lawyer to champion women’s rights. With a respected profession I will earn money not have poverty and perhaps help my Mum if she survives.”ANGELA,12

“I know if I don’t take the drugs I will die! I contracted the AIDS virus from blood. My father’s first wife was jealous of my Mum and wanted to punish her, so she cut herself on her arm, then cut me … pressing our arms together so the blood could mingle. She was HIV positive and knew I would be infected. Isolation and stigma plague me daily – to avoid the problem, I never share my status with anyone. I keep it as a dark secret. I believe God will assist me to be cured from the virus if I continue to take drugs. Only God has the power. I am hoping I can train as an auto mechanic – there is a big demand for that profession because people cannot afford new cars and need to have their old ones maintained to run well.”DAN, 13

“There is an old tradition, that is if you are good friends, you share blood. The custom is to slit your chest with a razor and then pass it to your friend, who then licks it with his tongue to swallow your blood. Many people get AIDS from this custom. My mother died of AIDS when I was 3 months. I contracted the disease because although she had gone to hospital to deliver me, there was no doctor on duty to administer the drugs. AIDS is like any other disease, Problems occur only if you don’t take the drugs. The immune system is attacked by the virus, which makes the body susceptible to other illnesses. My major challenge in taking the drugs is access to food. If I take the drugs on an empty stomach, I become very dizzy, weak, cannot walk with stomach cramps. We do not have money to buy food and that is a big problem. I plan to be an AIDS Advocate to teach people about AIDS, reduce stigma and ignorance. My idea to stop the spread and have a radio programme dedicated to all issues related to AIDS and have call-ins for advice." Innocent, 13

Amon and Scovia are siblings, both suffering from the AIDS virus. They both have very little knowledge of the virus. They rarely attend school because of the lack of funds for fees. In fact neither can describe what AIDS is. The only thing in their mind set is if they do not take the drugs daily, they will die. These children do not understand the concept of ‘stigma’. They have been advised by their parents to never talk about their status to anyone, to keep it a secret. Only at the clinic, where other children are infected can they talk freely. “We go to the hospital to have our blood tested but we do not know why – only that the drugs we do get must be adhered for a healthy life.”AMON, 14

Scovia and Amon are siblings, both suffering from the AIDS virus. They both have very little knowledge of the virus. They rarely attend school because of the lack of funds for fees. In fact neither can describe what AIDS is. The only thing in their mind set is if they do not take the drugs daily, they will die. These children do not understand the concept of ‘stigma’. They have been advised by their parents to never talk about their status to anyone, to keep it a secret. Only at the clinic, where other children are infected can they talk freely. “We go to the hospital to have our blood tested but we do not know why – only that the drugs we do get must be adhered for a healthy life.”SCOVIA, 12

Amon, 14 and Scovia, 12 are siblings, both suffering from the AIDS virus. They both have very little knowledge of the virus. They rarely attend school because of the lack of funds for fees. In fact neither can describe what AIDS is. The only thing in their mind set is if they do not take the drugs daily, they will die. These children do not understand the concept of ‘stigma’. They have been advised by their parents to never talk about their status to anyone, to keep it a secret. Only at the clinic, where other children are infected can they talk freely. “We go to the hospital to have our blood tested but we do not know why – only that the drugs we do get must be adhered for a healthy life.”

“I only have one friend she is a neighbor, also HIV positive. There are no other friends. I learned some time ago if I reveal my status, friends run away – they make me feel ugly, and unhappy. I didn’t get AIDS because I wanted to; it happened and I don’t know why. Every day I have to take drugs to prevent my becoming ill. No one has ever explained how I got the virus and if I will ever be cured.”MACLEEN, 12

“At the age of two my parents perished from the AIDS virus. I tested positive when I was 8. I trembled with fear when I was told that I was positive, because I heard that AIDS killed. The counselors were supportive and explained that I wasn’t going to die, that the virus was treatable. The most effective method to avoid the AIDS virus is through education – and most importantly to include in the teachings the issues of stigma, isolation and fear of the disease. This is essential as education is paramount. The government should be more proactive in creating awareness campaigns as far too many people don’t really understands nor know facts about AIDS. So much is gossip with half-truths and innuendo. I love football, but could never play because I was too ill, but also the other boys did not want someone with AIDS on the team. They thought they would get the virus. Books are my passion. I love to read, especially poetry. My vision is to become a doctor and work on the cure of AIDS. This is a distant dream since I had to abandon my studies due to a lack of funds.” James, 20

“I know I am HIV positive but I am not interested in learning more about the disease. About three years ago my father brought me to the AIDS clinic because he suspected I might be HIV positive since my mother died of the virus. They confirmed his suspicion. I was HIV+. When I was in school the kids always teased me because they knew I had AIDS. Back then I was suffering from a severe cough, which gave them the clue about my sickness. In spite of taking the drugs, the cough refuses to go away. I no longer go to school because I hated the isolation and the taunting from the other students. They made me feel bad because they were always pointing fingers and laughing at me and also because I was much older then them. Because of my illness I missed a lot of school, which meant most of the other kids in my class were much younger. I don’t want to be in a class where other students make fun of me, it is very mean. So I will never go back to school." Catherine,14

“Two years ago I had to leave school as there was no money for the fees … at the same time I was also diagnosed as HIV positive. Although I had to leave school, I am fortunate that my aunt, who is a tailor, is teaching me the trade. AIDS is not something I know very much about. Most of the time it is discussed in whispers around my village. Since I was diagnosed, my aunt has warned me never to have sex, as men will not treat me well. So I don’t get involved with men. Only the people I live with do I disclose my HIV status – that way I avoid stigma and the sense of shame, which is very depressing. Counseling has been exceptionally helpful in managing my sense of isolation, and especially the loneliness. But, I still do not reveal to new friends my status. Sadly, Marriage is not in my future, as I do not want to infect anyone.” PRICILLA, 18 Pricilla baby sits her Aunt’s younger daughter during the day whilst she is away working.

Since my parents died of the AIDS virus, my aunt has been looking after me. I was diagnosed being HIV positive when I was six and have been on the ARV drugs but they don’t work well. I continue to have a very aggressive rash that other people laugh, which makes me feel ashamed. I know part of my problem of not having the rash get better is that I don’t take the drugs consistently, and that is a big problem. I don’t like how I feel when I am on them and other kids make fun of me when they find out my status. Having no friends makes me feel very lonely and very angry. As soon as any friends find out I have the HIV’AIDS virus they run away. They think if they are close to me, they too will get the virus. I am not sure if that is true as I do not understand everything about AIDS and why people get it. My dream is to have a muzungu* take me away, cure my rash and have a better life away from this poverty.” JARIDAH, 14 *MUZUNGU –term in Africa for a white person